[Be content in the small]

Somedays I see little corners of my home, like this, and I get really excited.
I take a double look.
I imagine future swiftlets sitting beside a window, book in hand, eager to learn and explore.
I imagine my white hardwood floors stained and dirtied with little footprints that are precious.
I imagine a future life that seems exciting and different and adventurous and sacrifical
and so adult-like.
And sometimes I get anxious.

Sometimes instead of just taking that double look and smiling and enjoying the moment of dreaming dreams for a future time, sometimes instead fear and anxiety and covetness takes over. It steals the joy and excitement and the patience that my soul has in store.

It tells me what I am not. It tells me what I have not. It tells me what is lacking and sad about where I am at right now. It tells me that I need this and I need that and I need to be doing this or that or the other thing before any of this can happen.

Sometimes it tells me that I am too old or unprepared or hurry up with it already, you're missing out! It tells me that I don't have enough, that I am not enough, that I need to go, do and buy to make up for it.

And them I am left feeling empty, or worse, believing those things. Those lies.

It's interesting how things that are blessings and joys and good can sometimes become idols. How they can sometimes be the things that tell us that if only we had those things, life would be good. I would feel better. I would be content. 

Yet, the reality is that I am striving for a non-existent life.  A life that is not really mine. And that instead of all of the striving to be something I am not, something I have not, something that is not me, I instead need to strive for contentment in the here, the now. Contentment in the small things. Contentment in where He has me today. Right now. This place.

Today I was at the store. I had only a few things on my list, but there was so much more I wanted to buy. Living in our fixer-upper home means that I constantly have a million things on my mind that I want to buy to update or fix-up or repair. All of these things were going through my head when I heard his plea to [Be content in the small]. To enjoy the small things. Where he has me.

I am deciding that this lesson to [Be content in the small] is a lifelong lesson that He is wanting me to learn. And the more I learn in my twenties, the easier (I hope!) it will be in my thirties and forties and so on.

And so I am challenged today in this: to love where I am at, to be appreciative for where He has me and to [Be content in the small].

What is He challenging you in right now?

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