anxious to begin
Spring is peaking its way through the snow today, anxious to begin life.
Sometimes I feel like this... anxious to begin life. Anxious to finish grad school. Anxious to have my own classroom. Anxious to pay off student loans, to buy a house, to get a dog, to have a baby. Sometimes I find myself super anxious just to begin another craft.
It is in these times of anxiety that I become discontent. I find myself uncomfortable, clinging to all other things but the Lord for hope. In these times I am unhappy, running from one thing to the next only ready to finish the next thing, yet never satisfied when the day is done.
And so it is also in these times that I am reminded day after day that my life has begun. My life is living now. My life is not defined by the things I do, yet these things are an integral aspect of my life now and without them I would not be the same.
Today, I am learning to see my life as begun, not as waiting to begin after all these other things are accomplished. I am learning to trade my anxiety for peace.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding with guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
at 6:20 PM